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Mercedes C-Coupe
"that is like comparing a day in bed with Jennifer Aniston with having your balls 'scratched' in the same way as Daniel Craig endured in Casino Royale."
Mini Coupe
"being in the back of a Mini Hatch is like sitting between 2 fat people onboard a twin prop Cessna whilst attempting loop-de-loops......you're going to need a sick bag."
Jaguar XF Saloon
"Why on earth would you need eight gears? Surely it must change gear more times than Lady Gaga changes her sexual preference!?! "
Ford Kuga
"The Maverick was an utter dog of a car, BUT in Fords defence, they were only really competing for sales against the Vauxhall Frontera which was even worse!"
